Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
