so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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