Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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