You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Randomize
