Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
