I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
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