is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
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