I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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