His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
