Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
