Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I think your dad took our porno
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
