He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
