ya dads aren't the best wingmen
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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