new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
