Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
