I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
