Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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