I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
