Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I think I sprained my soul last night
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
