and you said cock pushups were impossible
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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