he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize