I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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