you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
