Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize