I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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