Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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