brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
