Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
