i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Randomize
