I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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