We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize
