There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
