Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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