my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
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