why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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