I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
