one might say we're banned from that church
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
