if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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