just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
