her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Randomize
