In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
How external is "for external use only"?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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