so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
