Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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