the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
