My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
