I wish I only lived at night.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
