also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
