bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
