As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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