After last night, I could never be a politician.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
jump out the window naked night went bad
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