The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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