OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
