i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
So much rum. So many feels.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
