We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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