So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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