I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
